var quotes =
['"FEDERAL WARNING: The Attorney General has determined that the following contains words, which could cause insanity and death."
-- Dave Barry',
'"There is nothing which can better deserve our patronage than the promotion of science and literature. Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."
-- George Washington, address to Congress, January 8, 1790',
'"Most men would sooner die than think. And they usually do."
-- Bertrand Russell',
'"Books had instant replay long before televised sports."
-- Bern Williams',
'"Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible."
-- Anonymous',
'"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
-- Albert Einstein',
'"[A]cts of God, riots, and human frailty foul up the best laid plans."
-- Vic Reinders, ATA Hall-of-Famer',
'"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."
-- Robert Frost "The Road Not Taken"',
'"Having power isn\'t nearly as important as what you choose to do with it."
-- Danny Devito Matilda',
'"A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one\'s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."
-- ancient Arabic proverb',
'"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
-- Douglas Adams',
'"One could not be a successful scientist without realizing that, in contrast to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists, a goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded and dull, but also just stupid."
-- James D. Watson The Double Helix',
'"Physical appearance and genetic inheritance do not determine culture, but the bogus concept of \'race\' is crucial to the ignorance that spawns prejudice and the bigotry that fosters injustice"
-- Jeff Todd Titon Worlds of Music',
'"Throw the puppy in the water. If it swims, well; if it sinks, well; but do not tie a rope around its throat and weigh it with a brick, and then assert its incapacity to keep afloat."
-- Olive Schreiner',
'"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
-- William James',
'"President Dwight Eisenhower express[ed] astonishment and alarm on discovering that fully half of all Americans have below average intelligence."
-- Carl Sagan The Demon Haunted World',
'"[I]gnorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science."
-- Charles Darwin',
'"[W]e spend our lives avoiding obstacles we have created for ourselves and in reality exist only in our minds.... Don\'t avoid any [obstacles] until you run smack into one. And if you do, at least you\'ll have a place to sit down."
-- Pierce Vincent Eckhart',
'"Keeping an open mind is a virtue -- but, not so open than your brains fall out."
-- James Oberg',
'"Happiness comes not from using others, but from being useful."
-- Mary Piper, PhD Reviving Ophelia',
'"To hear is to forget,
To see is to remember
To do is to understand."
-- unknown',
'"We are born with our eyes closed and our mouths open, and we spend our whole lives trying to reverse that mistake of nature."
-- Dale E. Turner',
'"That government is best which governs least."
-- Thomas Jefferson',
'"When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns."
-- Art Denman',
'"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."
-- Lord Acton',
'"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not more so."
-- Albert Einstein',
'"Every man is a fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit."
-- Elbert Hubbard',
'"Some of the world\'s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible."
-- Doug Larson',
'"Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research."
-- Anonymous',
'"The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life.... When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn\'t need its brain anymore, so it eats it! (It\'s rather like getting tenure.)"
-- Daniel C. Dennett Consciousness Explained',
'"Confidence, like art, never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions."
-- Earl Gary Stevens',
'"Life is what happens to you while you\'re busy making other plans."
-- John Lennon "Beautiful Boy"',
'"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
-- Dave Barry',
'"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture."
-- Anonymous',
'"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
-- Antoine de Saint Exupéry',
'"To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer."
-- Anonymous',
'"[F]ar more crime and child abuse has been committed by zealots in the name of God, Jesus and Mohammed than has ever been committed in the name of Satan."
-- Carl Sagan The Demon-Haunted World',
'"A man must fill his life with meaning, meaning is not automatically given to life."
-- Chaim Potok The Chosen',
'"Life is sexually transmitted."
-- Anonymous',
'"Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."
-- F. P. Jones',
'"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose."
-- Dr. Seuss',
'"Man cannot live on words alone despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them."
-- Adlai Stevenson',
'"The educated differ from the uneducated as much as the living from the dead."
-- Aristotle',
'"Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave."
-- Henry Peter, Lord Brougham "The Present State of the Law"',
'"If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."
-- Benjamin Franklin',
'"Computers are by far the best metaphor for lots of things, because they\'re so immensely complicated."
-- Richard Dawkins',
'"...acts of God, riots, and human frailty foul up the best laid plans."
-- Vic Reinders, ATA Hall-of-Famer',
'"Skepticism must be a component of the explorer\'s toolkit, or we will loose our way."
-- Carl Sagan The Demon Haunted World',
'"Except for hydrogen, all the atoms that make each of us up... were manufactured in red giant stars thousands of light-years away in space and billions of years ago in time. We are, as I like to say, starstuff."
-- Carl Sagan The Demon-Haunted World',
'"Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition.... Rather, the secret of a happy marriage is 60/40. In a 60/40 proposition, you don\'t clash in the middle and say, \'Now it\'s your turn.\' Instead, you intersect and overlap, because you\'re each giving 60 percent."
-- Robert H. Schuller',
'"Jazz is democracy in music."
-- Wynton Marsalis',
'"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is in visible to the eye."
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry',
'"Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy, and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it." -- Thomas Jefferson',
'"The quality of mercy is not strain\'d, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest; It blesseth him that gives and him that takes." -- William Shakespeare The Merchant of Venice',
'"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." -- Scott Adams The Dilbert Principle',
'"There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don\'t."
-- ThinkGeek.com',
'"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn\'t exist" -- The Usual Suspects',
'"For every difficult and complicated question there is an answer that is simple, easily understood, and wrong." -- H. L. Mencken',
'"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin',
'"Television is to news what bumperstickers are to philosophy." -- Richard Nixon',
'"A patriot must be ready to defend his country against his government." -- Edward Abbey',
'"If ignorance is bliss, why aren\'t more people happy?" -- Anonymous',
'"Do to others as you would have them do to you."
-- Luke 6:31 (NIV)'];
function quote() {
return quotes[Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length)];
}
function allquotes() {
var full = "";
for (var i = 0; i < quotes.length - 1; i++)
full += quotes[i] + "
";
full += quotes[quotes.length - 1];
full += "
";
return full;
}